Until the beginning of 2000, the ’classic version’ of BDSM was associated with a dominatrix dressed in latex and leather, who whips a frustrated armchair farter and, with clothespins on his nipples, forces him to lick her boots and kiss her feet. Almost everyone knows the film ’50 Shades of Grey’, which pioneered not only the popularity of BDSM, but also the distribution of roles. But this image was also manifested by the dominatrix who swung the whip on the TV at night, her phone sex adverts always ending with ’Call me!’. In Japan, on the other hand, we know the geisha cult, in which the woman takes on the subordinate slave role.

Whether dominant or submissive, both roles have their appeal.
Fortunately, all of that has changed. In BDSM games, everyone is of course allowed to torture everyone else. Both partners can ensure an orgasm, if all those involved allow an orgasm at all!

Dom or Dominatrix: Dominating, torturing, punishing
The person who takes on the dominant role is generally called Dom in BDSM if they are male, women are dominatrixes. Many also call the dominatrix FemDom, which of course cannot be found in the German language. FemDom is the abbreviation for ’Female Dom’.

The dominant role is often taken by people who find pleasure or sexual satisfaction in controlling another person: total power over their freedom of movement, freedom of speech, feeling pain or even control or permission to have an orgasm. The Dom holds the reins firmly in his hand and rides the sub towards his own climax.

Sub or slave: submitting, being tortured, surrendering
The submissive person in the submissive role is called a sub or slave. This role is perfect if you like to give up control and get aroused by losing control. When it tingles when your hands are tied and you also like to feel the satisfaction of the other person who exercises total power. This BDSM role is not only fun because of the facets of pleasurable pain, but also because you give yourself completely in the truest sense of the word. This leads to an enormous increase in excitement and thus in everything else that you feel and experience.

But of course sexual role play and the occasional swapping of roles are also a lot of fun. The learning effect is not to be underestimated either: what you have experienced yourself can be perfected and everything can be experienced even more intensely when giving or taking in the next BDSM session.

Switch - dominant and submissive
BDSM switch like to switch between the dominant and submissive roles and enjoy giving as well as taking. Some switch from session to session, others during a session.

BDSM rules and tips for beginners
You might already be throbbing and want to get started right away, but we’ll keep you in suspense: Before we show you the most popular BDSM practices, there’s the important safety check.

Clear rules should apply to every BDSM session
Because: Nothing is worse than a botched first attempt, a traumatic experience or even a form of pain that was dangerous rather than hot. For clear BDSM rules, you should definitely know these five terms and BDSM abbreviations by heart - and regularly ask yourself them under threat of being whipped on the cock or cunt:

Safe word - this is how you stay safe
Never start without first having set a safe word. This word ensures an unconditional termination if it becomes too much, too hard or too painful for one person.

Tip 1: Make sure you choose a word that is clearly defined and unusual: because you will say stop, no or ouch more often during a BDSM session without really wanting to stop. The word ’lentil soup’ has nothing to do with BDSM!
Tip 2: At the beginning, when you are not yet able to assess yourself very well or are over-motivated, you should not close your mouth or gag yourself etc. - speaking must remain possible!

SSC - ’Safe, reasonable, consensual’
With SSC, the BDSM community has bundled the three basic rules for ’torture sex’, bondage games and other, harder types of eroticism. This basic principle is intended to avoid dangers, injuries and/or actions against the will of those involved.

Tip 1: Doms and Dominatrixes should, despite all the pleasure they have in punishing and all the excitement, have enough empathy and common sense not to go too far.
Tip 2: This principle also applies to all subs and slaves: Please don’t turn off your brain completely because you’re so horny and don’t make your Doms go too far.

Kink – anything but vanilla
The international word ’kink’ is used to describe special preferences and preferred BDSM practices. ’What’s your kink?’ is often the first sentence you exchange with BDSM contacts. Kinksters consciously want to differentiate themselves from normal sex practices, which they call vanilla or vanilla sex. Kinky sex is different - just kinky sex!

RACK – ’Risk-conscious, consensual kink’
This international principle, called risk-accepted consensual kink in English, is a view and a basic principle that states that risks (bloody back from whipping, sore nipples, bruises) can be taken for the sake of the most intense and crazy sexual experiences, but everyone involved must be aware of this.

Tip 1: For dominatrixes, doms and BDSM clubs abroad or those that are unknown to you, you should definitely find out in advance how (hard) the practice is.
Tip 2: Even for one-night stands with strangers or fleeting holiday acquaintances, you should only unpack the equipment once you have agreed on your ideas and preferences.